SD_WILSON

When doesn't a telephone work underwater?
When it's wringing wet!

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
Bell-bottoms!

Can you telephone from the space shuttle?
Of course I can tell a phone from the space shuttle! The phone's the one with the long cord!

What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A big phone-y!

Fred's phone rang in the middle of the night.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello," said a voice. "Is this Tommy?"
"No," said Fred. "You must have the wrong number."
"Oh, sorry," said the caller. "I hope I didn't wake you."
"Oh, that's okay," said Fred. "I had to get up anyway, to answer the phone!"

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy signal.

What do you get if you cross a wake-up call with a chicken?
An alarm cluck!

What do you get if you cross your telephone with a tape recorder and an alligator?
A snappy answering machine!

Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours!
Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were busy!

How do little rattlesnakes call home?
Poison-to-poison.

Why didn't the mummy want a telephone?
He always got too wrapped up in his calls!

Why did the vampire answer the phone in his pajamas?
He couldn't find his bat robe!

What do you get if you cross a broken telephone with a football player?
A quarterback.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a ghost?
A phantom caller!

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog?
A golden receiver!

What did the cannibal mother say to the cannibal child when he was talking on the phone at dinnertime?
"How many times have I told you not to talk with someone in your mouth?"

What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?
He grew up to be a bellhop!

Why did Mrs. Yak call Mrs. Gnu after she'd just had twins?
To yak about the latest gnus.

What does a polar bear operator say?
"Glad I cold help you. Have an ice day!"

What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A party line!

What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A television.

What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash?
A tele-Scope.

DISCLAIMER: The person posting these joke suffered a lapse of personal volition and is therefore not responsible for the content above.


SD

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Life is far too important to be taken seriously!