Sheep jokes - VoIP / PBX Info Forum for Avaya / Nortel, Cisco, ShoreTel, Panasonic and other manufactuers Tech Tips Community

***papa-bear*** · August 21st, 2006

Seems to be a theme of sheep jokes today so lets post them up....

==========================================
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep
hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."
They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.
"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks
down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole
and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his
face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a
sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a sheep appears, running like the
wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.
The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...

Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. Hey... you two guys seen my sheep out here?

You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy
and just jumped into this hole!

Nah, says the farmer, That couldn't have been MY sheep. My sheep was
chained to a railroad tie.

***papa-bear*** · August 21st, 2006

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.

SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1:

the sheep !!!!
SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

***papa-bear*** · August 21st, 2006

When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in Australia
one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street.

"Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"

***papa-bear*** · August 21st, 2006

There was this cowboy named Jake who got himself fired from his job at
the ranch. He was out of work for a while, then started to get hungry. So he swallowed his pride, and went to the other ranch in those parts to ask for work--it was a sheep ranch.

They hired him, of course, not too many cowboys wanted to herd sheep.
The first night he was there, the other cowboys there woke him up. "Get up, boy," they said.

"It's time for your initiation!"

Initiation! But how bad could it be, he thought to himself. Afterall,
they were a bunch of sheep tenders!

So they took him out back of the sheep-pen, and he saw all the other
guys lined up waiting. "Go on," they said, "Boy, it's time you showed you were a REAL man!"

"Huh?" he said.

"That's right," they said, pointing at the sheep, "Show us you're a real
man."

Oh, no, he thought, they couldn't possibly want him to...but then he
really needed the job. So he squared his shoulders and went and picked out a sheep. He led it behind the shed. After a moment, the other were rewarded by the sounds of, "Baaaah BAAAAH..."

A couple of minutes later the cowboy came back out, buttoning his pants,
to see the other guys all laughing at him.

Oh, great, he thought, now I've really been had. "So, what?" he said,
"Was I not supposed to

the sheep?"
"That's not it," they laughed. "It's just that you picked out an ugly one."

Archibald J. Cox · August 21st, 2006

How did the Scotsman find the sheep in the field?

Delightful.

jack · August 21st, 2006

Why don't Hoosiers wear zippers?

Cause a sheepcan hear them at 100 yards.

Pirates_Ghost · August 21st, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jack

Why don't Hoosiers wear zippers?

Cause a sheepcan hear them at 100 yards.

We don't raise sheep in "Hossierville" just hogs.....CORN FED hogs....

***rixride*** · August 21st, 2006

***papa-bear*** · August 21st, 2006

norteltx · August 21st, 2006

Billy Bob was arrested during a drunken binge when a sheriffs deputy witnessed him having improper relations with a sheep in public. When his brother arrived to arrange bail he told Billy Bob that he could get a choice of two lawyers. One was $1000 an hour and the other was $65 an hour. His brother recommended the $65 guy cause he had a reputation as a guy who pick a jury. They settle on the lower cost guy.

Opening of his trial the judge asked the sheriff what he had seen. He recounted the sordid details and the judge asked of saw anything else that was unusual. The sheriif then stated when he was finished taking the liberties the sheep turned around and nuzzled the offender.

The jury foreman then leaned over to juror #2 and said "A good sheep will do that you know."

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