Psychiatric Hotline - PBX Info :: Your Free PBX, PABX and Telephone Information Resource

**Chas2002** · 02-08-2004, 12:05 PM

Psychiatric Hotline

The telephone rings and a Voice Menu plays... "Welcome to the psychiatric hotline."

If you are obsessive compulsive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.

If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If your are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer any way.

**Chas2002** · 02-09-2004, 12:03 AM

If you can think of others to add that would create "voice mail" jail for a pschy patient.. Post on
- I'm sure SD and PG have something to say....

BTW - PG you've been quite on the board - what's up?

02-09-2004, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chas2002

it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer any way.

That's how we build all of our applications, one big endless loop. It beats answering the phones.

-T

**Chas2002** · 02-09-2004, 11:32 AM

Quote:

That's how we build all of our applications, one big endless loop. It beats answering the phones.

-T

T - that just isn't right... :P

slagburn · 02-09-2004, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chas2002

Quote:

That's how we build all of our applications, one big endless loop. It beats answering the phones.

-T

T - that just isn't right... :P

Its the governement, these poor people shouldn't have to answer the phones if they don't want to... right?

In all seriousness the last application they designed had a 3 minute lead in speech before the caller was given any options, also if you were a return caller you had to listen to the entire 3 minutes before being allowed to make a selection, any keystrokes during the message would just start it all over again.

And they wonder why people are so pissed off when they finally get to an agent after dealing with that and waiting in queue for 15 miunutes.

-T

Pirates_Ghost · 02-09-2004, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chas2002

If you can think of others to add that would create "voice mail" jail for a pschy patient.. Post on
- I'm sure SD and PG have something to say....

BTW - PG you've been quite on the board - what's up?

But of course (and quiet as I've been working on e911)

"If you suffer from ADHD....press..If you suffer...press...ADHD...suffer...hey that's cool...press #...look that lights up...."

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