SD_WILSON

Application To Date My Daughter

Name: Last ___________________ First __________________ M. Initial ______ Age ______
Address: ________________________________ County ______________________
Social Security # ____________________
Drivers License # _______________
Parents:
Father´s Name __________________________ # of Marriages ______ # of Years _________ *
Address ________________________________________________
Mother´s Name _______________# of Marriages ______# of Years_____ *
Address___________________________________________ _____
*If less than your age, Explain
__________________________________________________ ______________________
Religion:________________________
# of Church Attendances in the Last Year_____
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest?

Boy Scout rank and badges _____________________________________________

1. Do you own or drive a Van? ____ Yes ____ No
Do you own or drive a truck with oversized tires? ____ Yes ____ No
Do you own or drive a waterbed? ____ Yes ____ No
Do you own or drive a pickup with a mattress in the back? ____ Yes ____ No
Do you have a condom on your person at this time? ____ Yes ____ No
Do you own Pornography? ____ Yes ____ No
If you answered "yes" to any of the answers above, please discontinue filling out form.

2. Do you have
earrings one two other
nose ring
belly button ring?
tattoo?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above, discontinue application and leave premises.

3. In 50 words or less, describe what "No!!!!" means to you



4. In 50 words or less, describe what "Don´t touch my daughter!" means to you




5. In 50 words or less, describe what "Abstinence!" means to you




6. In 50 words or less, describe what "Late!!" means to you





Answer by filling in the blank.
Please answer freely, all answers are confidential (that means I won´t tell anyone EVER).
7. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ____________________
8. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is ____________________
NOTE: if above answer begins with T or A, discontinue. When leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
9. Where would you least like to be SHOT? ____________________
10. Which is the Last BONE You Want Broken? ____________________
11. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________________
12. The Place for a WOMAN Is? ____________________
13. What is MY Daughter´s NAME? ____________________
14. Who besides GOD Should YOU FEAR the most? ____________________
15. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _______________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.


___________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name)


Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

Special notice:
If accepted, there will be a $50.00 deposit when you pick up my daughter.
If you are 1 minute late, the deposit will be forfeited.
If you are more than 30 minutes late, refer to questions #9 and #10



[Edited on 16/12/2002 by SD_WILSON]

__________________
Life is far too important to be taken seriously!