Home | Register |    
 
Forums         |        Articles          |      Software          |      Portals          |      Resource          |      Wiki      |    White Papers         
 
Go Back   PBX Info :: Your Free PBX, PABX and Telephone Information Resource > GENERAL > Off Topic - Humor/Jokes
   SEARCH  
     
User Name Password      
Save ?
Off Topic - Humor/Jokes Hang Out, Humor, Jokes and Off Topic posts

Download:


Post New Thread  Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 04-17-2008, 09:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
Ancient1
Senior Member
 
Ancient1's Avatar

Activity Longevity
9/20 16/20
Today Posts
0/0 ssssss692
Location: Space, the final frontier.
Rep Power: 5Ancient1 will become famous soon enough

Total Points:
Donate
Gender:
Country:

Send a message via Yahoo to Ancient1
I am sure a few will not like this. Hope the links work.

Doing some research I ran across a link that had additional material on it that I have never thought about.
Secrets of Scientology

Doing some reading and following more links I read even more that surprised me.
Operation Clambake - The Inner Secrets Of Scientology

The following is where you should start and let your courisity be your guide.

Who is Xenu?

I'm going to tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably? Right, then I'll begin. Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.
Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.
Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

hese DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed. The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).
After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".
When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.
As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.
That is the end of the story. And so today everyone is full of these clusters of souls called "body thetans". And if we are to be a free soul then we have to remove all these "body thetans" and pay lots of money to do so. And the only reason people believe in God and Christ was because it was in the film their body thetans saw 75 million years ago.
Well what did you think of that story?

What? You thought it was a stupid story?
Well so do we. However, this story is the core belief in the religion known as Scientology.* If people knew about this story then most people would never get involved in it. This story is told to you when you reach one of their secret levels called OT III. After that you are supposed to telepathically communicate with these body thetans to make them go away. You have to pay a lot of money to get to this level and do this (or you have to work very hard for the organisation on extremely low pay for many years).
We are telling you this story as a warning. If you become involved with Scientology then we would like you to do so with your eyes open and fully aware of the sort of material it contains.

Most of the Scientologists who work in their Dianetics* centres and so called "Churches" of Scientology do not know this story since they are not allowed to hear it until they reach the secret "upper" levels of Scientology. It may take them many years before they reach this level if they ever do. The ones who do know it are forced to keep it a secret and not tell it to those people who are joining Scientology.
Now you have read this you know their big secret. Don't let us put you off joining though.
Ancient1 is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2008, 10:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
JulianW
Moderator
 
JulianW's Avatar

Activity Longevity
7/20 11/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss5372
Location: 254.45 miles from Tiverton, Devon (ENGLAND)
Rep Power: 9JulianW will become famous soon enough

Total Points:
Donate
Gender:
Country:

I want one of those eternal batteries, do you think I could get one the size of a PP3 cell as I never seem to have any that size in the cupboard?
__________________
"Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."
JulianW is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2008, 10:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
jack
Senior Member
 
jack's Avatar

Activity Longevity
6/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss4989
Location: Chicago -- CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
Rep Power: 10jack is on a distinguished road

Total Points:
Donate

But where & when do they run off to the jungle and start chugging kool-aid?
__________________
Dogs rollover Phones hunt
jack is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2008, 12:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
monkeylizard
Senior Member
 
monkeylizard's Avatar

Activity Longevity
9/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss1551
Location: The monkey's hole
Rep Power: 7monkeylizard is on a distinguished road

Total Points:
Donate
Gender:
Country:
Tennessee Titans

There's a fantastic South Park episode about all of this. They wear out Tom Cruise and John Travolta. It's certainly in my top 5 best episodes list.
monkeylizard is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2008, 12:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
gei_spot
Senior Member
 
gei_spot's Avatar

Activity Longevity
10/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss5171
Location: Somewhere in this vast universe on a little rock that looks like a grape.
Rep Power: 11gei_spot is on a distinguished road

Total Points:
Donate
Gender:
Country:

It's true.. Xenu is actually called Chode
Here's his vid

YouTube - Extreme Chode (part 1)

Caution: NWS but funny
__________________
I'm a member of the "PbxInfo Gang"

Last edited by gei_spot : 04-19-2008 at 12:35 AM.
gei_spot is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2008, 02:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
jack
Senior Member
 
jack's Avatar

Activity Longevity
6/20 20/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss4989
Location: Chicago -- CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
Rep Power: 10jack is on a distinguished road

Total Points:
Donate

LOL!!!

South Park mocks them and the entertainment rags -- ahem press, refers to TC as the Gay Midget Dwarf and has more than a few inuendos about JT's sexual preference.

Makes you wonder just what their "secret handshake" just might entail.
__________________
Dogs rollover Phones hunt
jack is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2008, 06:06 PM   #7 (permalink)
MSYoung
Moderator
 
MSYoung's Avatar

Activity Longevity
11/20 9/20
Today Posts
0/0 sssss2904
Location: San Diego, CA
Rep Power: 5MSYoung is on a distinguished road

Total Points:
Donate
Gender:
Country:

I have always been partial to Chode's friend Six.
__________________
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Marty
MSYoung is offline   sendpm.gif Reply With Quote
Post New Thread  Reply



Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Building CTI Links To AES sbrennan007 Definity Support 0 03-15-2007 09:42 PM
Useful Asterisk Links rixride Asterisk Systems 1 07-28-2006 09:55 PM
Name Display on ESS5 PRI links tim_abney Meridian Systems 3 09-01-2004 08:45 AM
Useful Links rixride ALCATEL 2 02-26-2004 12:16 AM
links... cjohnson Technology Chat 1 05-28-2003 05:44 AM

Tags   |   Advertise    |    Media Partners   |    Admin   |   About us   |   Contact Us   |   RSS   


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0
Copyright PBXINFO LLC 2006