papa-bear

Just what are you Brits up to?

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Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage | The Register

Man cuffed for lamppost sex outrage

By Lester Haines
Published Thursday 6th March 2008 22:32 GMT
The suspicion that sexual assaults against inanimate objects, including bicycles (Bike bonk bloke cops three years' probation | The Register) and hoovers (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/03...ver_incident/), are on the rise is confirmed by the disturbing news that a man was last month cuffed for "allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamppost", as the Wiltshire Times puts it.

The incident apparently took place at about 4.45pm on 16 February, when police received reports of a man "being indecent" in the Queens Road area of Westbury

The suspect was arrested on 27 February "on suspicion of outraging public decency" and later bailed pending an "extensive police investigation".

During their probe, officers gathered evidence and statements, "some of which were from children", and the unnamed man yesterday answered bail for further quizzing. He was again released "pending further inquiries". ®
Bootnote

The Polish building contractor recently caught (Polish builder sacked for humping hoover | The Register) in flagrante delicto with a Henry Hoover is reportedly no longer welcome is his native land. The local press has, according to the Sun, expressed its outrage at the incident, with one news website advising vacuum-sex compatriots to "stay and carry on hoovering".

Catholic Poles, meanwhile, claim the chap demonstrates "how their people reject family values when they come here - and often return with sexually transmitted diseases". Quite how you catch the clap from a hoover, we know not.