Java_Bob

I liked them ....

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask
for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa


************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd
like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you
can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door
in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to
your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa


************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I.
Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa


************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in
my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
bottle of Scotch.

Santa


************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas
where I spend most of my time making
low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa


************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when
we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please,
PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?

Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that
crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa