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| Off Topic - Humor/Jokes Hang Out, Humor, Jokes and Off Topic posts |
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| Off Topic - Humor/Jokes Hang Out, Humor, Jokes and Off Topic posts |
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 07-30-2007, 01:57 PM | #1 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Senior Member   Java_Bob is sleeping
Location: A Blue State Rep Power: 12  Gender:  Country:  | for thought How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? If the professor on Gilligan's Islandcan make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? | ||||||||
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| 07-30-2007, 03:57 PM | #2 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Junior Member   Pirates_Ghost has no status.
Location: The other side of the Lake from work Rep Power: 12  | "Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?" Yes....both written by the same 4 year old composor (seriously, he was only 4) Wolfgang Amadeus Motzart. And often times my wee ones will forget wich song they are singing and mixt the lyrics. __________________ You can't wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you - Look, if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!  | ||||||||
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| 07-31-2007, 07:31 AM | #3 (permalink) | ||||||||||||
| Moderator  JulianW is drinking coffee.
Location: 254.45 miles from Tiverton, Devon (ENGLAND) Rep Power: 9 Gender: Country:  | Quote:
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So the next question should be why don't they make square pizza? Quote:
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Some more questions for the pot: Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live? If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? If the "blackbox" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? If your parents didn't have children, are your chances good that you won't either.  __________________ "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity." | ||||||||||||
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