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| Off Topic - Humor/Jokes Hang Out, Humor, Jokes and Off Topic posts |
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| Moderator ![]() JulianW is drinking coffee.
Location: 254.45 miles from Tiverton, Devon (ENGLAND) Rep Power: 9 ![]() | How to drive a tank By Peter Caddick-Adams Military historian ![]() Protesters in Budapest this week seized a World War II-era tank that had been part of an open-air display and drove it 100m down the road. Is it just a matter of switch on and go? A tank clattered across the cobbles of Budapest this week in a bizarre throwback to the 1956 Hungarian Uprising. Anti-government protesters hijacked a Soviet-era tank - removed from a museum display - and drove it around before being arrested. It made me wonder how easy these metal monsters are to drive. You can't just walk up to one, turn an ignition key, and off you go - or can you? Several surplus tanks now lurk in fields dotted around the Home Counties where those in search of a day's corporate bonding can give them a whirl. Most are ex-British Army Chieftains, but some are T-34s, the type "borrowed" from the exhibition in Budapest. Top gear Whereas most tanks have a separate crew hatch for the driver, the T-34 requires me to climb over the wheels and tracks and haul myself up onto the turret top to access the driver's controls. These tanks are quite tall and the 2.7m tests my muscles - most crewmen were 18-year old agile striplings. Slithering inside the turret, I'm thankful of the crewman's padded helmet, as there are lots of sharp switches, radio sets, ammunition racks and the gun on which to injure myself. Once in the driver's seat, I'm cramped, uncomfortable and this part of the tank reeks of oil. Fortunately, I can see my route ahead through the little driver's hatch (in combat I would be locked in, relying on a periscope - no place for a claustrophobe). As everything is manually operated, the clutch pedal is surprisingly light. I press the start button and feel the foot pedal vibrate as the 500 horsepower engine kick in. I lean forward uncomfortably with my right hand to reach the gear stick (five forward, one reverse) and rev the engine almost to screaming pitch before selecting the gears, then the 32 tons of metal monster lurches forward. I hit my head. There are two steering sticks, a right and a left, to which the T-34 responds sluggishly. A sharp pull back on the left one and the right brake engages, slewing the beast to the left. It's surprisingly manoeuvrable, but very loud and I catch pungent lungfuls of its generous exhaust fumes as I pirouette the monster about. Gas guzzler Navigation is a problem - I can't see behind or to the sides, that's why there's a commander in the turret telling me where to go over his intercom. So, besides the 85mm gun and armour plating, it's more like my car than I expected, but would a real hazard to manoeuvre in traffic. But I don't know how so many young soldiers managed to cope in such an environment. Being cheap and mass-produced, T-34s were decidedly chilly in winter and stiflingly hot in summer; if the main gun was fired, the tank would lurch with the recoil, then the inside filled up with fumes as the gun breach was opened on reloading. Anyone could drive a basic tank, especially the T-34, though tank novices may find it stalls easily. No surprise then that tanks have often been hijacked by civilians in uprisings, whether Paris in 1944, Budapest in 1956 or Prague in 1968. But in 2006, shouting "fill her up" to the service station attendant would lighten your pocket instantly: a T-34 takes 545 litres of diesel and uses two litres for every kilometre. | ||||||||
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| | #2 (permalink) | |||||||||
| Junior Member ![]() rwhite has no status.
Rep Power: 6 ![]() | Quote:
Also, someone refresh my memory-doesn't pulling the LEFT stick engage the LEFT brake, thereby leaving the right track to propel the thing around? __________________ Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're still here we may as well dance. | |||||||||
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| | #3 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Moderator ![]() MSYoung is meddling with dragons
Location: San Diego, CA Rep Power: 6 ![]() | Using a T34 to measure all tanks by has problems. The Russians were never concerned with crew comfort in any military vehicle they produced. American and British tanks were luxurious by comparison. When I was in the Army decades ago I drove an M113 and it was fun to drive. It has the same kind of control system that a tank has, two levers. You pull the left lever back and you turn to the left. Pull the left lever back and push the right one forward, hit the gas and you will turn in place. __________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Marty | ||||||||
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| | #4 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Senior Member ![]() slagburn has no status.
Location: 3498.51 miles from Tiverton, Ontario (CANADA) Rep Power: 16 ![]() | Done the 113 thing when I was in; always wanted to try the M1 or M88. For reference the T34 went of of production in the late 50's; I think they're up to the T-90 now from the T-72... A lot of folks are asking how much sense tanks make in modern warfare. | ||||||||
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| | #5 (permalink) | |||||||||
| Senior Member ![]() Java_Bob is sleeping
Location: A Blue State Rep Power: 12 ![]() ![]() | Quote:
was that your MOS ??? | |||||||||
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| | #6 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Senior Member ![]() slagburn has no status.
Location: 3498.51 miles from Tiverton, Ontario (CANADA) Rep Power: 16 ![]() | Started as a 19D, injured on the job after a year of service and was sentenced to a motorpool while waiting for papers to get 'kicked' out on disability; While I was in the motorpool the motor sergeant took liking to me and did the paperwork for 63B(H I drove the 113 during an oddball field run where they left myself and some ADA (Air Defense Artillery) guy on guard duty for a weekend with a bunch of tracked vehicles - the 113 was the only one that they forgot to lock up and he had a license for it, I remember that it was fun but really slow. | ||||||||
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| | #8 (permalink) | ||||||||
| Moderator ![]() MSYoung is meddling with dragons
Location: San Diego, CA Rep Power: 6 ![]() | My MOS was 11C40 (Heavy Weapons Infantry) and I spent a year in Korea. While there I transferred to a little toy called Davy Crockett (google it, battalion level nuke). We were attached to a headquarters company. When ever we went camping with the unit we enjoyed the M113s because we could travel cross country and the trucks couldn't so our platoon would break out of the convoy and adventure. I drove it for the entire year and it was a lot of fun. One of my buddies didn't like it when he broke a rear suspension arm climbing out of a riverbed and an M88 had to come rescue him. __________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Marty | ||||||||
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