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Old 01-19-2006, 02:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
slagburn
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CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471

In order to increase the security of all company computing facilities,
and to avoid the possibility of unauthorized use of these facilities,
new rules are being put into effect concerning the selection of
passwords. All users of computing facilities are instructed to change
their passwords to conform to these rules immediately.

RULES FOR THE SELECTION OF PASSWORDS:

1. A password must be at least six characters long, and must not
contain two occurrences of a character in a row, or a sequence of two or
more characters from the alphabet in forward or reverse order. Example:
HGQQXP is an invalid password. GFEDCB is an invalid password.

2. A password may not contain two or more letters in the same position
as any previous password. Example: If a previous password was GKPWTZ,
then NRPWHS would be invalid because PW occurs in the same position in
both passwords.

3. A password may not contain the name of a month or an abbreviation
for a month. Example: MARCHBC is an invalid password. VWMARBC is an
invalid password.

4. A password may not contain the numeric representation of a month.
Therefore, a password containing any number except zero is invalid.
Example: WKBH3LG is invalid because it contains the numeric
representation for the month of March.

5. A password may not contain any words from any language. Thus, a
password may not contain the letters A, or I, or sequences such as AT,
ME, or TO because these are all words.

6. A password may not contain sequences of two or more characters which
are adjacent to each other on a keyboard in a horizontal, vertical, or
diagonal direction. Example: QWERTY is an invalid password. GHNLWT is
an invalid password because G and H are horizontally adjacent to each
other. HUKWVM is an invalid password because H and U are diagonally
adjacent to each other.

7. A password may not contain the name of a person, place, or thing.
Example: JOHNBOY is an invalid password.

Because of the complexity of the password selection rules, there is
actually only one password which passes all the tests. To make the
selection of this password simpler for the user, it will be distributed
to all supervisors. All users are instructed to obtain this password
from his or her supervisor and begin using it immediately.
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Old 01-19-2006, 05:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
ptec123
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Due to Email security issues the password will be delivered to the Supervisor by Interoffice mail. The Supervisor will then give the password to the Employee in a private meeting
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Old 01-20-2006, 04:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
JulianW
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If there's only one valid password what do we do next month when it expires?
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Old 01-20-2006, 06:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
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If it's that strong of a password that there is only 1 why would it expire?
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Old 01-20-2006, 07:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slagburn
If it's that strong of a password that there is only 1 why would it expire?
8. All passwords must be changed on anyone leaving the company no matter whether it be the CEO or the cleaner.
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Old 01-20-2006, 07:45 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptec123
Due to Email security issues the password will be delivered to the Supervisor by Interoffice mail. The Supervisor will then give the password to the Employee in a private meeting
Due to the Right to infomation act of 2001, these private meetings will be recorded both on video and by a court reporter. Copies of these will be accessable to the general public Monday through Friday, 8 am to 5pm at the hall of records. Pleas note, a password is required to view these documents, please refer to the aformentioned Password selection rules to aquire the password to view the information regarding password selection rules.
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You can't wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you - Look, if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
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Old 01-20-2006, 08:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JulianW
Quote:
Originally Posted by slagburn
If it's that strong of a password that there is only 1 why would it expire?
8. All passwords must be changed on anyone leaving the company no matter whether it be the CEO or the cleaner.
Then nobody leaves except in a body bag... retention numbers would be great.

This one password is so strong I seriously doubt a Chuck Norris round house kick could break it. :P
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Old 01-20-2006, 09:12 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slagburn

Then nobody leaves except in a body bag... retention numbers would be great.

This one password is so strong I seriously doubt a Chuck Norris round house kick could break it. :P
I seriously doubt that, a Chuck Norris round house kick could break anything.
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Old 01-20-2006, 09:14 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Let me try to get my brain untwisted with something simpler. You guys are giving 'tortured logic' a new meaning.

Shouldn't an implosion go "Moob!"?

Mebbe not. I think it oughtta be "!mooB".[/b]
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Old 01-20-2006, 09:16 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
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You guys are giving 'tortured logic' a new meaning.
We aim to please.
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