slagburn

I'm sitting on my hands on this one... I really want to ask lewd questions about what she'll do.

Nice question at the bottom about whether or not she'll spend a day on the trapline.

JulianW

Currently nearly 30,000 viewings and a price of $6,100

The Q & A section looked funny so here goes

Q: Ok, I'm thinking of winning this auction no matter how high it will go. I have in mind breaking into a animal shelter and stealing animals which I can later resell to local factories and gourmet stores would Ms Newkirk give me a hand and pick out the ones that are most expensive then carry them out to my car alond with other stuff we find?
A: Sounds like you’re doing great on your own. Win the auction and Ms Newkirk would be pleased to visit you in jail.

Q: Is she available for a chunking trip to the Hudson and if she throws up or don't make it back can I get a refund?
A: Scott Peterson asked the same question and look where it got him! We'll pass.

Q: I love what PETA Stands for and I think this is a wonderful idea! Bravo! I currently have two companion pigs/swine (Jazzy and Gaiwan) that I would love her to meet. What is Ms.Newkirk's general stand on Hammies??
A: Pigs are such bright, alert and friendly creatures. We hope that you rescued Jazzy and Gaiwan since overpopulation of companion pigs has created a huge surplus that sanctuaries are trying their best to deal with. Like any animal kept as a companion, Hammies have basic needs that must be met, so it may not be a good idea to have a young child as the primary care taker and you certainly don’t want to leave a hamster in a school classroom where he might get forgotten over weekends or holidays. Ms Newkirk would love to meet your pigs.

Q: Can she stand a 16 hour day on the trapline and another 6 skinning and scraping coon. Well better yet just the skinning and scraping I would hate for her to have fun on the line with me and my young boys.
A: Don't worry. Ms Newkirk won't find it fun to help you retrieve dead and injured wildlife, birds, stray dogs or feral cats from your trapline. Traps are so indiscriminate, sort of the animal equivalent of land mines. 16 hours sounds like a long time for young boys to be helping on a trapline. Maybe they'd like to play with someone their own age. Ms Newkirk will help you and she'll throw in tickets to a professional sporting event in your area for your kids so they can see what 99% of normal children do for fun.

Q: Hi, I would like to know why PETA worries about animals that are not in any harm and harasses people who treat their animals better than many people treat their children, instead of helping starving children and abused children, or the elderly in nursing homes. I work on an ambulance and if you only knew the horrible things that happen there. Do you even care? Because people come first and these elderly need your help are you willing to help them? Or is there not enough publicity in that? Were would the money that comes from this sell be going?
A: That's great that you work ambulance. Thank you. I was a Los Angeles County Fire Fighter and ambulance attendant for 7 years and felt that it was extremely worthwhile work. It's a privilege to have the opportunity and skills to save another person's life. PETA's mandate is to help animals, so as an organization it does not take a stance on many of the other injustices you mention, although many PETA staff do volunteer work on these issues on their own time. Many people believe that old people, like animals in shelters, laboratories or farms, are treated well in nursing homes. You and I have been in the nursing homes and know that this is not true. PETA has been in the horrible shelters, animal labs and farms and can attest that the horrors of isolation, loneliness, deprivation and abuse are not unique to humans. The money from this auction will be going to further PETA’s work for animals.

Q: Will she go with me to a childrens hospital and explain to them why an animal is more important than making them better?
A: To a sick child or his parents, nothing is more important than restored health. But trying to equate animal testing with improved health ignores the myriad failures of animal testing from approving dangerous medicines, such as Vioxx, HRT or Thalidomide, to missing out on promising treatments because they didn't work on animals, to wasting resources trying to create animal models of diseases that animals do not naturally get. Would you explain to a sick child that existing animal testing has failed him? A sick child needs care, love and attention, not adult explanations.

Q: would she be willing to help a trapper with a freezer full full of coyote hides. They need washing/ fleshing/ sewing and put on the stretchers for the fur market? thanks
A: Yes. A trapper with a freezer full full of dead coyotes definitely needs help.

Q: Since I am buying her for the day, what can I not make her do. Here are a few things she will be doing.. 1. Paint my house. 2. Clean my garage 3. Skin my deers 4. Hunting 5. Fetch my ducks 6. Fishing
A: Wow. Busy day! I doubt you'd be able to squeeze it all in but win the auction and you're welcome to try.

Q: Would she be willing to jump out of a cake at a party for Ted Nugent? Well, on second thought...wouldn't want to make Mr. Nugent or his family ill. Does Ms. Newkirk do windows?
A: Ms Newkirk would do this but you don't want to make any sudden moves around the Nuge. You're entirely right that Mr Nugent and his family have enough problems already. Ms Newkirk used to do windows but now has an entire Information Technology department to do them for her.

Q: She would eat my all meat dinner, consisting of veal and various other delectables, would she not?
A: Not.

Q: peta what does that mean i thought it meant, people eatting tastey animals is this right or is it slang
A: No, PETA spells more than 50% of its name correctly.

Q: would she carry my fishing tackle for the day.
A: Yes. She'll also tell you about fish: that they are smart, interesting animals with their own unique personalities—just like the dogs and cats we share our homes with. Did you know that fish can learn to avoid nets by watching other fish in their group and that they can recognize individual shoal mates? Some fish gather information by eavesdropping on others, and some-such as a type of South African fish that lays eggs on leaves so that they can be carried to a safe place—even use tools. It will probably be enough for you to chuck your tackle!

Q: Will she help me paintball the rspca multi million pound head office and jags? Or can we get her to sign a contract to close peta down?
A: Yes (not the paintball part though – sounds illegal). If you win this auction, Ms Newkirk will sign a contract to shut down PETA the instant that animal abuse and neglect ends! When there are no more animals languishing in laboratories, when elephants aren’t dragged around the country in circuses, when millions of fur bearing animals are no longer caged and anally electrocuted, when billions of chickens are no longer cruelly confined as meat and egg machines, and when all animals cease to be exploited, neglected and abused, PETA will have done its job and will shut down.

Q: How are you qualified to be the seller? You don't seem to have sold much before. Does the changing your ID from bobinseattle to petaprez4rent qualify you? Who gets the money from this auction bobinseattle or charity?
A: All the proceeds from this auction go to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit charity. A portion of your purchase price might qualify as a tax deductible donation. If so, PETA will work this out with the winner and give the winner a tax receipt for the legally deductible portion of the winning bid.

Q: We are have a PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) BBQ - what recipes can Ingrid bring and prepare?
A: You’re in luck! Ms Newkirk is the author of two cookbooks: The Compassionate Cook, or Please Don’t Eat the Animals, and The PETA Celebrity Cook Book. Not only can Ms Newkirk bring recipes, but if you win this auction she will bring a vegan chef and everything you need for a tasty and compassionate BBQ. Remember – it’s never too late to go vegetarian – it will improve your health and disposition. You don’t have to be testy people eating animals all your lives!

Q: would she be willing to replace a cute little bunny-wunny in an animal testing lab with her not so cute self? After all she would be saving a bunny-wunny and I'm sure shes had shampoo in her eyes before
A: Yes, she would, but shampoo is the least of the horrors that rabbits go through in product testing. Try battery acid, caustic soda, lye compounds, etc. in your eyes! Product tests on animals don’t contribute to product safety, they only serve to lessen liability for the manufacturer while cruelly killing thousands of animals. Ms Newkirk knows that tests on humans are valid for humans while tests on animals fail to catch harmful drugs such as Thalidomide, HRT, Vioxx and others.

Q: i am wondering what if i want her to keep her big mouth shut all day??? i dont want to hear her peta BS all day long. if i would bid its only on the agreement she is silent ALL DAY is this possible??? even when we go to the canners house for my weekly trip can she keep the mouth shut?
A: I understand how you might be embarrassed or intimidated by a compassionate person commenting on your life and activities. Ms Newkirk can go your request one better: You win this auction and she will take your money, stay home and send you a life size inflatable doll.

Q: I have RESCUED rabbits from high kill shelters in Los Angeles (no one wanted these throw-a-ways; so I adopted them). Would she like to spend the day playing and even feeding them their oat hay and even sweeping out their large run (none of my rabbits are caged and yes, they are spay/neutered). They are great and of course, cute/smart/curious!
A: Thank you so much for rescuing, spay/neutering, and providing exemplary care for rabbits in need! As you know, the shelter adoption rate for rabbits and other small mammals is terrible with most being euthanized or even fed alive to predators. Ms Newkirk would be pleased to help you care for your rabbits should you win this auction.

Q: Has she ever directly helped animals by doing activities such as volunteering at an animal shelter?
A: Yes. Ms Newkirk served as a deputy sheriff; as a Maryland state law enforcement officer with the highest success rate in convicting animal abusers; director of cruelty investigations for the second oldest humane society in the U.S.; and Chief of Animal Disease Control for the Commission on Public Health in the District of Columbia. She has also volunteered at animal shelters.

Q: I'm considering to make a bid on the auction, but one thing bugs me. I have in the past sent an e-mail to her in the past [admin@exposepeta.com] with no response in sight over the past few weeks; if I were to bid on this auction would she be willing to listen to what I have to say or would my thoughts be exempted?
A: It’s sad when you have to pay people to respond or listen to you but I’m afraid that’s the position you’re in. Obviously, what you are saying (or emailing) is so obtuse or offensive that either no one can understand it or people feel that it is better to -exempt your thoughts- than reply. Winning this auction may be the only way anyone will listen to you! Bid away.

Q: How does she feel about lice? I have an old horse that just got them. Would she be willing to pick them off by hand and relocate the lice? I'm just not sure what to do! I love my horse but lice are animals too you know?
A: Lice can cause extreme discomfort to horses, cattle and people. Diseased or nutritionally stressed animals are more prone to have serious lice infestations, so be sure to check your horse’s general heath along with removing the lice. One wonders in a world in which every animal is ideally suited to its habitat and purpose what the possible purpose of lice or fleas or mosquitoes might be. However, it isn’t necessary to understand an animal’s purpose to allow them to live peacefully. Yes, Ms Newkirk would help you comb out your horse and relocate the lice.

Q: I help run a decent sized horse operation where I live. I was wondering if miss Newkirk would be will to help sow up pregnent mares, doctor three corner tears about 6 inches in size, cleaning the sheaths of stallions, mucking stalls and all the like. I also help to manage an outfitting operation in my spare time, Would miss Newkirk be willing to walk through the woods being as quiet as a door mouse and help us hunt elk and after we make the kill help us remove the entrails?
A: It sounds like your horse operation might be indecently sized if you are not able to keep up with chores. A decent sized horse operation shouldn’t leave you much spare time to stalk unarmed elk. Horses need lots of attention. How about Ms Newkirk takes care of your horses while you and your hunting buddies continue your Chronic Wasting Disease research?

Q: You would have to pay me to stand within 10 feet of that lady. From 90% of Australia
A: Sorry. The way an auction works, at least in the US, is that you will have to pay me for you to stand within 10 feet of Ms Newkirk.

Q: So, does this mean I can take her hunting, or have her working on my farm? Basically as long as it's not some form of illegal exploitation, like sex?
A: Exactly.

Q: Would she be willing to help me field-dress a deer?
A: Yes she would. But even more importantly, she’ll help you realize why you shouldn’t.

Q: Just curious if this is for real... I outfit for several hunting camps and we always need helpers for dressing, and quartering up of harvested animals. By the rules listed, I will not be the one that will have 'harmed' the animals, but the work cleaning them will fall to my workers. Is she up for the task, or, is this just a blow hard offer?
A: It’s for real. Dressing and quartering dead animals is not Ms Newkirk’s idea of a great day, but it would be like heaven compared to what the -harvested animals- have been through. Put your money where your mouth is! Bid away.

Q: Will she gut my deer after I shoot it? After all, I'ts already dead!
A: You have a deer that you haven't shot yet? What admirable restraint! Ms Newkirk would be delighted to meet one of these quiet and gentle creatures while alive and to help you appreciate wildlife rather than you trying to show that you are stronger than an unarmed vegetarian animal who runs from you. No animal is -already dead-, but if you've decided to kill one and can afford to have Ms Newkirk help you gut it – she’ll help!

Q: I was wondering if Ms. Newkirk would like to work, training American Pit Bull Terrier. I know she has such love for this breed. We have Grand Champion & Champion UKC dogs. We have a show in a couple weeks in South Florida.
A: Ms Newkirk has a love for all animals particularly those unfortunate enough to be bred for fighting or show. It is sad that these animals are relentlessly bred while hundreds of thousands of other dogs are killed yearly in shelters. Ms Newkirk would be pleased to work with you to sterilize your dogs to help relieve this overpopulation crisis. Not only would she be pleased to help train your dogs, but she'll help train you as well. Please bid!

Q: How much is the reserve? We are having a witch burning in the near future. If we are successful Newkirk can go with the others....hell it is only one more stake.
A: That's what everyone says: just one more steak. If you went vegetarian now, you would enjoy a myriad of health benefits, reduce animal suffering and maybe even think a bit more clearly.

Q: I don't know.. Her arms look kind of skinny. Can she muck out a stall to four inches deep and refill it with clean sand and shavings she moved herself (The manure and sand piles are 75 yards away, and all we have is a wheelbarrow)? Or just she just tell other people how they should do their work (That they are not doing a good enough job)?
A: Ms Newkirk can muck with the best of them but she would never let an animal stand in four inches of muck. She'd muck it out and keep it clean before it got so disgusting. Would you like to stand in ankle deep muck (I guess that means urine and feces) until someone replaces it with clean sand and shavings? Bid for Ms. Newkirk's services and she can help you create a more humane system - maybe even move your sand pile closer to the stalls so you can take better care of your animals.

Q: Is this for real? Seems an unusual item for ebay. Cheers
A: Hi. Perhaps it is a bit unusual but it is certainly for real. You can read PETA's media release here: http://www.peta.org/MC/NewsItem.asp?id=7354

I think there's a publicity officer answering her questions and for once they're earning their keep.

Java_Bob

heck with that, i wouldn't want that &u*t near me