| Words of Wisdom
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely
ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out
line pushing a cart piled high with groceries .. Imagine my delight when
the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and
asked sweetly ,
"So which six items would you like to buy ? "
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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly
neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a
table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may
not have 45 minutes."
They were seated immediately
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The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would
hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed ! ! ! AMEN!!!!
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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the
aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed
her father and placed something in his hand . The guests in the front
pews responded with ripples! of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage , the bride gave him back his
credit card.
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Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in
your casket , and friends and congregation members are mourning over
you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine
spiritual leader, and a great family man.
Eugene commented : "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher
and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives ."
Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God
.. Looking up, he asks the Lord, "What does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute. "
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you ?"
The Lord replies, "A penny. "
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies , "In a minute "
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
"Curse " he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to
put the curse on you. "
"The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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