oh come now Diva, baby...you KNOW DARN WELL that in the "Sowt side Pah-raid" this list doesn't quite hold true :wink:
More like this:
Leg One: Wake up and realize your
ALREADY IN THE BAR you'd be in the morning of the parade down Western Ave.
Leg Two: Order a round of Whisky's for your and your "friends" (only to discover: 1) your friends aren't there; 2) your friends are actually the double vison reflection of yourself in the bar back mirror or 3) your friends are the empty bar stools on either side of you)
Leg Three: stumble out the door of the bar to watch the "pah-raid" float by....(Mind, not the Parade floats, but the whole parade, people, bands ET AL seems to be floating 2 feet off the ground)
Leg Three and 1/2: Do one of the following 1) throw up in the gutter in full view of : a bus load of 4th graders; a bus load of Northsiders down for the "festivities" (as they would call it); a bus load of Nuns
2) Shout at the fire hydrant "Get outta da whey you F'in runt! Cah-ant you shee I'm tryin' ta tak a pish!"
3) Start chanting 'Vote Rosty!' (reference to former Convicted Alderman Stan Rostenkowski (hardly an Irish man, but a So. Sider none the less)) when the "Polictical" car rolls by
Leg Four: pass out in the back of : 1) the Police van you've been bundeled into for refusing to stay on the West side of the street (the west side is the "roudy drunk side" the east side is the "family" side) 2) your buddies car as he trys (drunkenly) to drive you home (mind, everyone, all 1/4-1/2 million of them are doing the same); 3) the garage of the house nearest to the bar you were last in...
NOW....combine those and yours, and your looking at a REAL "Shhi-cahh-gooo" St Pat's day.
